I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
