I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Fuck appropriateness.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
