STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You ruined the universe
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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