your room smells of hookers.
And success
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
