I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
