I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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