i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
