Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
