There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
