Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
