I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
