dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
