thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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