What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sext me about skeletons
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
