Moan for me like Helen Keller
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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