OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
