i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
