he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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