He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How does one acquire holy water?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
