If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Small penises have feelings too.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
