K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Did I show you my penis last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will be naked everywhere
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
