that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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