It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
