he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
And then he peed in my hair
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