her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
