man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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