Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
