Cold hands, warm shart.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
