As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
In America we eat man semen.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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