Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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