just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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