hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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