Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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