so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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