Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
