Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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