It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
