whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
