google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
