I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
