I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
