At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
