woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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