I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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