I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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