i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
