my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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