I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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