I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
