Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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