Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
