Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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