I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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